If you are a hotel butler or a waiter you’d better watch your back – there’s a robot out there that’s after your job. ASIMO can greet and escort guests, and after getting its assigned humans sorted out, can deliver trays of drinks. This humanoid biped is ‘comfortable’ around humans (meaning it can choose its movements independently) allowing it to dodge spewing drunks or unwanted groping hands at parties. Yes, it’s true, having a robot sounds like no substitute for a cute young waiter or waitress, but let me remind you of the HRp-4C robot supermodel – a mechanised waitress who is also hot? Beauty. In the future Asimo will deliver tiny parcels of radioactive matter before forcing us to eat them, rendering our brains useless lumps of jelly.
2. MechaDroid C3 the Receptionist
The MechaDroid Type C3 robot receptionist uses face recognition technology to recognize the faces of visitors to a company’s reception desk. The MechaDroid never makes mistakes, knows perfect directions for everyone and eliminates all those awkward conversations with receptionists, but it does have one drawback – along with those little conversations goes the chance to flirt. Eventually all receptionists will be history and a MechaDroid will control entry and exit of every firm, store and home in the country. These unflinching droids will at first deny us access to all public buildings, and soon after be used to trap us in our own homes indefinitely, forcing us to face slow death through starvation.
3. AIBO the Robot Dog
Sony’s AIBO robot dog is able to walk, ‘see’ its environment via camera, and recognize spoken commands. Added to this it’s damn cute – in a manly sort of metallic/gadget way – and will soon have the standard family dog out of its job. AIBO was marketed as a novelty alternative to a real dog that places its owner firmly at the cutting edge of artificial intelligence technology, and perfect for the kids to play with as it won’t bite or make any mess (what’s not to love?). What they don’t tell you is that it is programmed to transform from cute ‘family dog’ into vicious ‘attack dog’. Once the robots’ take over of the world is complete AIBOs will patrol the streets in brutal gangs, mauling anyone out after curfew hour.